Love

Sweet ass new hookah bar + friends + burrito + work visit from Glenn = Amanda loves today.

The geometry of passion

I can't properly articulate how I feel at this precise moment. It's somewhere between really good and kind of worried.. swaying back and forth between those two extremes. For so many years I've wanted my desire to make art to make sense, and to not feel like it's a complete waste of time. Or money. I feel like the answer is somewhere close by, and that excites me. I think the worry is me thinking I might be let down by what I do (or don't) discover.

We'll see. I must continue to focus on it for a reason.

Capitol Hellian

Not really. But I do live on Capitol Hill now.

To summarize- shitty house with cheap rent, no money to speak of, working as much as possible. But when I come home (or to Glenn's house) every day exhausted, it's a happy, relived sort of exhausted. I'm no longer reliant on Nathan for food or money or anything. It doesn't seem like a milestone achievement, but I'm so much happier lately. I like having my own space again. Even if I'm not home very often.

Things have changed quite a bit since the last time I've written here. Nathan now lives by Uwajimaya, and is working on some really huge projects with his company. I saw him today, and he helped me collect the last of my things to bring to my new place. I'm glad we're still friends. We weren't right for eachother, but he's a good guy.

Tomorrow Glenn and I are going to Bellingham to visit his parents for his dad's birthday. I know the name "Glenn" is unfamiliar to this blog (unless I've ever written about our silly work antics.. oh how I miss them) but rest assured, he is quite wonderful. Every day I wake up smiling, thinking of whatever adventures we have planned for when I get off work (even if it's just watching cartoons and making dinner for eachother).

Life feels a bit directionless right now. But it's still really really good.

Time to go to 15th Ave Coffee (Secretly owned by Starbucks) for some amazing green tea and live music.

Did absolutely nothing today

BUT

I saw a lady with a cat she keeps in a stroller at Starbucks.
I watched a lot of youtube videos.
I sang.
I talked to friends.
I did some laundry.
And I took a shower.

So when you look at it that way... I still pretty much did nothing. I felt guilty about it for awhile, but now I'm over it.

Big thought bubble

I have a new career idea.

Details to come.

Alright then.

It's been months and months and months since I've written here. Alot has changed, some things haven't. I don't feel like re-capping everything though. Only the recent things.

Last night was okay. I enjoy the bar hopping evenings with Jess, Casey, Camber, Nathan, (and now David), but sometimes I'm still left wanting something more then a slight buzz and bar food. It's not the fault of my friends. They're all great, I've enjoyed getting to know them better. I must just be incredibly difficult to please. Or get bored really easily. I don't pretend to know what the answer is. But it was a night not spent alone or sad, so I guess that's good.

I was actually kind of grateful for some time alone today, though. It was my first day off since Thanksgiving..and I guess people can wear me out in large doses. I think I've just needed some extra time to think about what's to come. Or what should be coming. I'm fairly sure I know what I want to happen, I just don't know how to go about getting there. But I will, and that's the important part.

Hmm. What else.
Adam is a DOUCHE. Predictably so.
I have very little money.
I want way too much for Chirstmas. =/
I really want to actually start painting more again.
I'm going to Utah for Christmas again.
I'm addicted to that store Lush.
Our house is actually starting to look cute.
I'm wondering how long just working at Starbucks is going to cut it before I become really bored.

Maybe there's more, but that's all I felt like saying.

Done with

Mediocrity.